


wounds

by BensCalligraphySet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Scars, in which they kiss each other's scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BensCalligraphySet/pseuds/BensCalligraphySet
Summary: She wishes things had gone differently. She wishes he had said yes. Sometimes, she wishes she had. Mostly, she wishes they lived in a world that hadn’t made them enemies. And because at that moment, in the safety of their bond, there is nobody else but them and the weight of their decisions, Rey allows herself to lower her lips to his brow and kiss the scar she gave him.When she pulls away, he’s gone.Or: The one where the Force always seems to connect them when one of them is alseep.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 43
Kudos: 221
Collections: Comfort Gems 2020, Galactic Idiots Collection





	wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Reylo Week Day Five: Wounds
> 
> This was inspired by an anon prompt I got a while ago. It takes place right after TLJ and ignores everything that happened in TROS.

When Rey feels everything around her begin to slow and blur, accompanied by the telltale hum of electricity, she knows the bond is about to connect her to Ben. She tries to fight it - really, she does - but it’s like fighting against the current, and she is taken to that place between places where the Force joins them together whether she wants to or not. 

Like always, she can’t see his surroundings. All she sees is Ben, lying on his side, facing away from her. Sleeping. 

Rey is rooted to the spot. Her heartbeat accelerates, like it does every time he’s near, but unlike every other time, there’s a deep undercurrent of hurt, rather than anger, that makes her grind her teeth and clench her fists. Their last encounter is like a fresh wound in her soul. A wound that hurts and bleeds and keeps her up at night. A wound like the one she carries in her arm. 

She can’t see his face from where she’s standing, but she doesn’t have to. She is sure he looks the same as he did when she left him behind, passed out on the floor of Snoke’s throne room. He didn’t look peaceful then - even in sleep, his expression was guarded and tormented.

A noise escapes Rey’s lips - a quiet, broken sob. On the bed, Ben stirs. Before she can say or do anything, the connection fades and she is back at the base. 

* * *

There is no rhyme or reason to the timing of their Force bond connections, which is why Ben finds himself hastily dismissing his subordinates in the middle of a meeting, as soon as he feels the first sign. 

He isn’t sure if he’s ready to see her again - to look into her bright hazel eyes and see aggression instead of understanding - but it doesn’t matter. One way or another, they’ll face each other again. They are inevitable, like the rain and the wind and the stars in the sky. 

The last time the Force brought them together, he didn’t look at her at all. She thought he was sleeping. 

This time, when the connection flares to life, she’s the one in bed with her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling in time with her breaths. 

Ben’s own breath hitches. The sight of her does something to the part of him he keeps tightly locked within himself, the part he can’t afford to show to anyone around him. The Ben inside of Ren. 

He should hate it, the way looking at her hurts. The way she makes him want things he can’t possibly have. Every time he sees her, it’s like picking fresh scabs from a wound that hasn’t healed. 

He doesn’t hate it. He doesn’t hate her. 

He should, he thinks as he looks down at Rey, lying on her side, curled in on herself.

He doesn’t hate her at all. 

Another heartbeat, and she’s gone. 

* * *

This time, she’s prepared. When the Force connects them, she’s ready to tell him to leave her alone - that they are, and forever will be, enemies - but the words die in her throat when she finds him right where he was last time - sleeping quietly on his bed. 

Only this time, he’s facing her, and if Rey found it hard to summon her anger when all she saw of him was his back, it’s nothing compared to what she feels when she has an unobstructed view of his face. Like she predicted, he doesn’t look tranquil. There’s a harsh edge to his features, like he can’t quite relax. She wonders if nightmares plague his sleep, like they plague hers.

Her feet gain a life of their own as they make their way toward his bed, stopping at the very edge. Ben’s eyes are closed and his hair covers half his face. The other half - the half with the scar she gave him - is closest to her, and she can see it plainly. 

At the time, she felt powerful. Strong. Invincible. Untrained, and she had best him, this knight of darkness, this prince of shadows. A monster. It had felt good to mark him, to make him kneel. 

Looking at it now, all she feels is a strange sense of guilt. Not because she was in the wrong, but because she didn’t know him like she does now. She didn’t know his heart. She thought he didn’t have one at all. 

She knows better now, even if her own heart broke when he refused to join her. The scar that cleaves his face and chest is a mirror to the one in her soul. 

Ben carries his wounds on his skin. Rey carries hers inside. 

She wishes things had gone differently. She wishes he had said yes. Sometimes, she wishes  _ she _ had. Mostly, she wishes they lived in a world that hadn’t made them enemies. And because at that moment, in the safety of their bond, there is nobody else but them and the weight of their decisions, Rey allows herself to lower her lips to his brow and kiss the scar she gave him. 

When she pulls away, he’s gone. 

* * *

Ben has been waiting for the bond to come to life for weeks. It seems like the more he wishes it, the less likely it is to happen. He’s at his wit’s end, thinking every thrum in the Force might be it, only to be promptly disabused of the idea. 

He felt it. Her kiss. He felt it, and he willed every muscle in his body not to react because he didn’t wish to scare her off. She thought him asleep again, and perhaps it’s some sort of cosmic joke that the Force keeps connecting them when the other is in bed, but Ben doesn’t sleep, not if he can help it, because sleep brings nightmares he’d rather not face. 

Just like the first time, he didn’t say anything. He kept still, eyes closed, waiting to see what she would do. And she had kissed him. So softly, he almost thought he had imagined it. But he hadn’t; she did. 

The wonder hasn’t worn off, even weeks later. He’s lying in bed thinking about it when he feels the familiar thrum in the Force and sees Rey appear beside him. 

Asleep. 

Ben blinks, his eyes taking in her form. She’s wearing a different tunic than the one she had on last time. This one is white and sleeveless. Goosebumps cover her arms, and he considers whether she might be cold. Careful not to jostle her, Ben covers her with his blanket. His fingers graze her forearm, right below where her new scar is. The one that looks like two hands reaching for one another.

Self-hatred coils in his stomach at the thought of her getting hurt because of him. Again. He never meant to hurt her, yet it’s all he seems capable of doing. 

When he was younger, he found an old book in the study. It was Alderaanian, one of the few relics his mother had been able to collect over the years. He read it, mostly because at the time he considered real, bound books to be fascinating. It was an interesting read. The book centered around the romance between two people who had been born rivals and learned to love each other. One line, in particular, stuck with him:  _ Love heals _ .

He almost snorts. He has no idea what he feels - if this ache in his chest whenever she is near is love - but if it is, he’s doing it wrong. His brand of love doesn’t heal. It only hurts.

And because he knows he’ll never be able to love her like he should - like he wants to - Ben allows himself the luxury of bending down and ever so gently laying a kiss on her scar. It’s incredibly selfish, he knows it, but he feels a small tendril or joy and happiness and he wishes he could keep it. Wishes he could keep  _ her. _ Mostly, he wishes he could make her happy like she makes him happy. 

When his lips leave her arm and he straightens, his eyes fall on Rey’s face… and lock right onto hers. 

She’s looking right at him. 

What’s more, she’s smiling. 

* * *

_ Two Years Later  _

Laying in bed, Rey contemplates the jagged little scar on her stomach. That’s what she gets for not minding where she walks and running straight into the sharp edge of a piece of scrap metal. It had been such a stupid accident - and the cut was so shallow - that she hadn’t bothered using the Force to heal it. 

“When did you get that?” 

Ben asks, making his way to her and toweling his hair, still wet from the shower. 

“Yesterday,” she sighs. “ I really need to clear out some of the clutter in the workshop.”

The look he gives her tells Rey exactly how unimpressed he is. To assuage his worry, she adds, “It’s nothing, really. Doesn’t even hurt.”

“Mmhmm.”

Ben drops the towel at the foot of the bed and climbs on top of her, aligning himself with her middle. He brings his lips down to her stomach and presses a kiss to the scar. She feels his hot breath on her skin, his soft lips, and then a tingling warmth. Seconds later, it’s gone. He nuzzles into her before raising his head and gracing her with a soft, gentle smile.  _ There,  _ he says with his eyes. Rey looks down - her skin is perfectly smooth again, the ugly scar gone. 

Love heals. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr & twitter @galacticidiots x


End file.
